foreword to 2025
Tuesday, 4 February 2025 12:52 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
hwariumIt’s an auspicious day for thinking about the year to come.
It’s the sixth day of the lunar new year, but it’s the first day of the solar cycle, and officially the first day of the year of the snake.
I’ve been living with my grandfather for the past two weeks. In the new year period, no one uses the gregorian calendar. Restaurant bookings, the evening news, plans with friends, everyone reverts to the lunar calendar. The days have names, and each day has its own power. It is bad luck to clean on the first and don’t you know, if you go out on the third you will end up quarrelling.
The luck of each day also depends on the agricultural calendar, marked by 24 solar terms. Today happens to be 立春, the beginning of spring, and the best day in the whole year for making plans: 一年之计在于春 (a whole year is determined by its spring).
You’re supposed to wake up early (failed), face the sun (failed), and think about your aspirations for the coming year (aspirational).
I want to get better at knowing myself, and planning around my willpower and weaknesses. I often make plans while knowing that there is very little chance that I will achieve them, yet feel defeated when I fail.
Life is also made up of the small habits, the systems which push my days along, and the environments which shape my choices. There have been so many months where I’m just jumping from one day to the next, each day already packed with plans with no room for more. Those are the months where self-determination checks out and my systems kick in, and if my systems are good, I come out the other end a better person. I want to do a check up on my systems, because there are unhealthy habits that I need to kick.
And so, this post.
There are some hard truths that I need to accept as inevitable, and just plan around them:
- I am useless after dinner: I always end up procrastinating before I start which leads to (1) guilt if I never start and (2) staying up late if I do start because then I get in the zone and refuse to stop until I crash. I should just accept it and relax by consuming content and doing an evening routine.
- I will never game / read for less than two hours: the amount of times I look at the clock and think “just half an hour” but end up playing until 3am!! I started Fire Emblem: 3 Houses around February 2024 and I think March became a living purgatory because I was running on 5 hours sleep for 6 weeks.
- I will never wake up early if I’ve slept less than 8 hours: it is what it is! My downfall is that I sometimes do wake up early and do wonderful things but it’s exception and I shouldn’t depend on it. I also think my brain knows I’m lying to myself and punishes me for the hubris.
- I will never read the books I buy unless I read them now: the double edged sword of novelty is so unyielding. I just need to accept that the best time to read a book is right when I buy it because that’s when I’m the most interested. If I let it settle onto a bookcase the chances of being read diminishes radically because something else would catch my eye and that book wouldn’t be the most interesting thing in my life anymore.
- My environment = my mood: I can’t do mental labour until my house is clean! In the back of my mind I’m subconsciously nagging myself, so I can’t focus. I also avoid the mess by going straight to my bed and doing some brain rot behaviour. So! I should clean first before attempting to write / study / journal / manage.
- The story will be as long as it needs to be: I can never plan the length of a story, or predict the day I will finish it. It always feels like I’m cutting my way through the bush, I can only see the path within my arms length, and no further. A scene will do what it needs to do, and it will be as many words as it needs to be. Recently I’ve stopped setting word count goals because I’d much rather focus on the text. The goal is to focus and work through scene. I’m learning to trust the process and stop being so impatient about finishing.
- I am a working dog: I have the personality of a german shepherd or a border collie. I need to be stimulated and productive and exhausted before bed. If I’m not I’m going to engage in destructive behaviour and chew at wires!! I think this just means making sure I do something meaningful every day, so a check in the morning and at night? Not sure but I will reread this post in June and check!
When life gets busy, and it so often does, I run on autopilot and there are some autopilot settings that I need to rewire!!
- infinite scroll / shorts / reels: my god this is the no.1 time and brain cell killer. I’m particularly susceptible after a long day when I don’t have the brainpower to do anything much but my brain still needs the stimulation. I’ve downloaded an app (Android: ScreenZen) which completely blocks instagram reels and youtube shorts, and for other distracting apps I’ve set up a 10 second timer so that I have to wait it out and navel gaze before engaging. It’s pretty effective because it makes me aware of when I touch the phone out of habit rather than purposefully, but I do think doom scrolling is a symptom of something else — I never do it when life is going well.
- phone at home: the nights where I go on my phone as soon as I get home after work…. never a good night. I’m going to set up a new habit where I clean and put things away first, and then write on my whiteboard what I should be doing.
- online shopping: Another big time killer is reading reviews of things that I want to buy and daydreaming about owning them;_____;. Bags, dinner sets, study room organisation, volleyball shoes, japanese stationery, chemical exfoliators, meal prep tupperware … I’m just a girl and I love to shop. Except I don’t have a lot of space and the Stuff is becoming a problem. At the end of 2024 I’ve already started doing a massive declutter and I will do another session when I get back home. I do think I have to reflect on my shopping habits, because it’s related to not being satisfied with what I have. I want to appreciate the things in front of me and spend more time on myself rather than youtube reviews. There’s a Calvino quote about how the more you see the more you realise what you don’t have (Angelica voice: you will never be satisfied). I don’t quite know how to stop this one but the first step to rehabilitation is awareness so [2 points to ravenclaw].
As to the systems and habits I want to start / continue … I’m going to leave it off this post because it’s very long. I deliberately do Very Many Things to psycho-engineer my ideal self and my life systems are ones which I have in place for years (like journalling on Fridays, exercising 5 times a week, studying flashcards on bus rides). I have checklists and check-in lists, I log my sleep and my meals, and have tracked my spending since 2019.
I definitely have some kind of complex about being in control of my life but it’s working well so far so I’m not going to reflect on that!!
I don’t make resolutions anymore, not ones like “I want to write 30,000 words”, “read 30 books”, or “get bigger shoulders”. My mind doesn’t work like that and my heart keeps changing my mind. But I’m okay with that! Things will happen, my interests will wax and wane and life will push things away and towards me.
I do have a list of things I would like to do! My diary of choice is the jibun techo which has a ‘100 wishes' page. Rather than resolutions, this list is a reminder of what I’m interested in. I revisit it every month or on days where I feel purposeless. I scan through and I’m able to latch onto something and think “yes I will like to do that.”
A lot of the list repeats year to year:
- friends I want to catch up with
- manga / anime (I have a separate list for books)
- certain health / lifestyle goals (vertical jump + 5cm)
- yearly habits: print pictures, spring clean, media consumption dreamwidth post, plan girls trip (etc)
- yearly “quests” that I inevitably do: watch 1 play, visit certain museums, play a volleyball tournament, watch a movie with mum, send a postcard to grandpa, do a cosplay photoshoot, go on 5 dates (etc)
There are new things I want to try:
- learn gua sha / chinese facial massage
- learn the Anyone dance
- update the seventeen fanlore page
- cook cream of potato soup
- learn to jump serve
- 200km motorcycle trip
- 3 day hike
- overnight train in Japan
- (etc etc)
I do also have aspirational Goals in there, things that will be an achievement for me and I will be proud of myself for doing it. I also feel like goals are a little like wishes. The act of speaking it out loud destroys its existence >____<~ So forgive me if I keep those to myself for now and I might reveal them at the end of the year :D
That’s all! I’m going to use the lunar and solar calendars a bit more in my life this year. There’s websites that tell you what is auspicious and what should be avoided, the breadth is pretty awesome — there are days for wishing for children and days where you should get a haircut. I’m not religious or superstitious, but I do think there’s power believing in the things that you do. I might not be able to manifest all my goals with my shifty willpower, but maybe ancient chinese wisdom about agricultural planning can help.
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Date: 6 February 2025 10:34 am (UTC)This just shifted something for me, magnificently. <3 I can't plan things, because I deal with them as they come up, but that doesn't make things less fruitful. I've got to stay with my strengths.
Re: doomscrolling, what helped me personally is going to the Webtoon app to scroll through an episode of a webtoon instead. I suspect because my finger is scrolling, and I'm visually stimulated, similar to a reel, but it's not snapping at my attention because the episode isn't that short. And I can either go to the next episode, which encourages me in staying attentive, or I have to wait for the next episode, in which case I can stop and do something else.
The lunar and solar calendars and their recommendations according to the state of the sky is fascinating to me. I follow a bit of it, like not washing my hair on Tuesdays.
This is so inspiring omg?! I've been so stuck with my WIP and I've just been thinking too much about the final word count and final structure, and when I'll be able to release it. I do want a release schedule, ideally, but I need to focus on the process, with the rest of it.
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Date: 6 February 2025 03:14 pm (UTC)Re planning and going with the flow: things just come up sometimes! like maybe a friend will recommend a book and suddenly March is the best time to read it. Or maybe new play is showing and I want to read the source text, or maybe in June I become fixated on a new hobby! I think it’s much better to ride that wave and let the inspiration buoy me along rather than worry about “oh but I promised myself that I will sew in April”. That being said, some things in life are important and should be scheduled, but I think being a bit more relaxed about hobbies can be beneficial!
Thank you for the rec! I will definitely try to consume /stories/ more, rather than a centipede of short form media put together by algorithm!! It will be more satisfying!
Oooh! I’m just getting started re lunar/solar calendars. Do you have a preferred source of information that you would recommend? Tell me more about washing hair on Tuesdays!
Re word count: yes!!! yes!!! I’ve removed the word count counter entirely when I’m writing because it’s 100% has no contribution to the quality of my writing. As long as I put enough time and attention into writing, I can trust the process and let the word count sort itself out!!
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Date: 17 February 2025 01:59 am (UTC)infinite reels is a KILLER, best of luck beating the evil of doomscrolling! please let me know how your cream of potato soup and Anyone dance covers go <3 I also feel like goals are a little like wishes. The act of speaking it out loud destroys its existence FELT, AGAIN. the only aspiration I am voicing aloud is that I will become a better baker in 2025. everything else must be held close to the chest. wishing the best for our secret, hopeful, unspoken 2025 goals. I owe you replies elsewhere hehehhe but stumbled across this and had to reply ASAP. happy new year! <3
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Date: 17 February 2025 02:38 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 19 February 2025 06:15 am (UTC)i use a hobonichi techo and it also has a list in the back for 100 of something – i've never used it all these years but i think i'm going to adopt your method!! i was actually considering doing something like that a few months ago when i was preparing for the new year but chickened out and now it's already february, but it's never too late :) it's fun how once you start thinking of one thing you want to do, the floodgates open and then you immediately have like 15. i also really resonate with your secret aspirational goals. this is why i never post wips, because i don't want to jinx it if i don't end up finishing plus i love it when the final result is a surprise for everyone, myself included (to the extent that it can be!). are there aspirational goals from past years that you're especially proud of now? i'll look forward to hearing about future ones as they happen ^_^
that haikyuu quote is one of my favorites along with "Working until ‘being okay’ has become a habit." i will never be athletic enough to relate in that regard, but beyond the applicability to like .... the art/ongoing practice of living, as well as any kind of passion in general, sports manga always reminds me of my tumultuous days as a high school debater lol. still letting that 17hols prompt marinate now that i've been reminded! but there's nothing like an ultimately silly and made up game to remind you that meaning and purpose are what you make of them, and that every virtuosic success is the cumulative total of all those small and unglorious moments...
also do you have any recs for meal prep tupperware?? i'd love to be influenced. i too have way too much of everything else except my housing situation is shifting rn and with a newly empty kitchen i'm relishing the freedom to shop for once without feeling guilty about it!
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Date: 21 February 2025 12:57 pm (UTC)best of luck to both our secret aspirational goals!! may our secrecy augment their chances of success hehe. (as to some of my 2024 goals, passing my japanese proficiency exam, run to work (which I only did Once lol), learn to motorbike *___* this year there are more writing goals, I want to keep that muscle moving even though life gets busy! I stumbled into academic content recently and realised how much knowledge/style I lost -- I write much more casually (both for dw and fic) but I want to aim higher! your fe3h comments also reminded me of how nice it is to read something with a touch of academic sensibility)
life is a statistic and our high and lows are less influential than the average of our days ... thank you sports manga for the life lesson
yes!! YES!! so many kitchenware recs. For meal prep tupperware, high and round >>>> square and flat + MUST BE STACKABLE WHEN STORED!! My first set were these pretty muji ones which you can see in the display picture here. Would not recommend other than a cute lunch box. They aren't stackable and the square shape really limit the shape of the food you put in (e.g. for the shallow type a thick chicken gets squished). The flat bottom also takes up a lot of shelf space. I was inspired by how professional kitchens meal prep ingredients in round stackable deli containers (like in the video here). They can also double as containers to use /while/ cooking e.g. beating eggs, making sauces, marinating food or holding cut ingredients. I got inspired by the shape and got some nice round containers from a japanese brand (I got 8 of these and 4 in a 600ml size). I also have larger 2L boxes for scallions / salad leaves / shredded cabbage. Ah! but I should note that my meal prep style is to prep components of dishes that I can put together in a meal, rather than prep 5 x meal boxes. *___* I also meal prep stuff in the freezer but that's a different story and different type of container (you have discovered one of my obsessions haha - I love thinking about meal prep)
(and congrats on your move and cheers to new beginnings. hehe the processing of turning a new space into a home is always fun)
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Date: 22 February 2025 06:46 am (UTC)if you ever wrote up a meal prep post i would run to read it SO FAST btw :D and thank you for the kind wishes, i'm staying put actually but my roommates are moving out so i'm looking at it as an opportunity to rehome the space anew!